Bride Says Her Dad Is 'Working to Ruin' Her Wedding Because She Won't Let Him Bring His New Girlfriend
The bride wrote on Reddit that she knows her dad "will pull everybody down with him"
The bride wrote on Reddit that she knows her dad "will pull everybody down with him"
A bride says her father is out to "ruin" her wedding because she won't let him bring his girlfriend.
In a post on Reddit's "Wedding Drama" forum, the bride described how she plans to have a "small and intimate" ceremony with about 15 people in May. The problem arose the day after she sent her invitations, which requested that her divorced parents attend the wedding without their respective new partners.
The bride worries about her parents — who went through a "pretty bad" divorce nine years ago — or their partners "ever meeting or being in the same place."
"My mom literally had to leave secretly when my dad was not in town because the emotional and financial abuse was so bad," the woman explained of her parents' relationship. "Fast forward to now, they are on speaking terms but it is clear my father has a ton of anger toward her."
But the father's anger extends beyond his ex-wife. When he was told he couldn't bring his date, he immediately lashed out at his daughter over the phone.
"My dad went 0-60 with his emotions and said that he is choosing his girlfriend over me, that he will always choose her over me," the bride wrote. "I responded that that is his choice and he can choose not to come."
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She continued: "When antagonizing me did not work, he said he would disallow my grandmother from coming (he has weaponized her previously too, as she is pretty dependent on him)."
The poster asked the forum how she should mitigate the situation, as she's certain her upset father will "pull everybody down with him." She even went as far as to suggest canceling the wedding entirely and eloping instead.
Most commenters told the bride that she should disinvite her father.
"Have the wedding, un-invite your father who it seems hasn’t changed one bit from when your mother escaped him, and have someone else pick up your grandmother for the wedding," one user wrote. "Does she know her son uses her as a bargaining chip?"
Other commenters were more concerned about the well-being of the bride's grandmother, as it was implied that her son is controlling her.
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"I very much suspect there is elder abuse happening. OP [original poster]'s mom had to escape financial and emotional abuse. Dad's weaponizing grandma who depends on him?" another user wrote. "Sounds like a call to Adult Protective Services might be in order as well."
The bride, who is a behavioral therapist, gave Redditors an update on her situation, but it wasn't a positive one.
"Dad is screaming at me. Grandma is screaming at me. We are all screaming, I guess," she shared. "I know as a behaviorist that if a behavior is not producing the desired outcome it escalates until it drops off. So I’m hoping that by ignoring for the time being I can ride out the spike in behavior."