The Solo Beijing Life: Romanticizing Solitude

Living alone and caught in a rut? Everybody’s moving on with their life, and you seem to be stuck with yourself every evening? Sometimes, living alone can be stressful, and the loneliness blues get to you. It is there that we must understand that romanticizing your life is something that'll save you a lot of energy and therapist visits. It is normal to forget how amazing it is that you get to live in a completely new world. 

Here are seven things to remind you how to romanticize your solo Beijing life and make the best out of it. 

1. Have a Backup TV Show

In the everyday rush of life, there must be one TV show that you keep on as background noise for your apartment.  It can be one of your favorite sitcoms from the '90s or early 2000s or even a more recent lighthearted comedy that just plays in the background while you do your life’s work. Sometimes, you need nostalgia to hit you and help you think of life from a different perspective than you do daily. So what if you watched Ross stop Rachel’s plane for the tenth time? It’s like comfort food; let it soften your life. 

2. Enjoy the Mundane Activities

There are so many Instagram posts telling you to enjoy the small things in life. You might not pay a lot of attention to this advice, but it might just change your life. Oftentimes, you forget that most of our lives are spent doing the everyday tasks that we think of as boring or unimportant. We don't stop to think that our life is passing by; Monday to Friday are still five days of our lives. So, maybe next time you go out to buy groceries, enjoy it, stroll around, try to translate their labels, maybe even ask a shopping assistant for help. It's okay if you don't want to buy the dress; maybe trying it on, posing and taking a picture would help you realize how beautiful you are in it.

3. Main Character Energy Syndrome

Nobody's born with main character energy; you earn it over time, and now you can flaunt it because you have done your time and you deserve it. Sometimes, when we are living alone in a foreign country, it is easy to let go of your usual chirpy personality and feel like you're fading into the background because nobody gets you and you don't look like many people around you. It is at that very time that you need to remind yourself that you have the wheel of your life and nobody gets to take decisions for you. Stop waiting to take permissions, stop looking for people to do things with, stop trying to limit yourselves with limitations that don't exist and borders that are not there. In true heroic fashion, undo your tragedy, go out and live your life because no one else is going to do it for you.  This is live, your life’s movie, and the whole thing revolves around you!

4. Hobby On Like Nobody’s Business

One of the easiest ways to get out of the rut and start romanticizing your solo Beijing life is to bring in a new hobby. You do not have to be perfect at it, nor does it have to amount to a money-making machine. There are some things in life that you can do just for the sake of doing them. Maybe order an RMB 18 embroidery kit from Taobao to do a custom design on that hole in your jeans. Perhaps you can download one of those elaborate adult coloring apps or take up bullet journaling. If you like photography, you could go around town and take pictures of some beautiful scenic spots, or you could try baking that weird three-ingredient cake you saved on Instagram but never dared try. There is more to life than coming back home, crashing on your bed and doom-scrolling Instagram for the next four hours until you fall asleep with burning eyes.

5. Shine a Light, Light a Candle

There’s beauty in just unwinding sometimes and giving yourself off to an aesthetic Pinteresty evening. It may sound super extra and unrealistic, but planning a good bath (if you don't have one, did you know you can buy collapsible ones on Taobao?!) with some lit candles and mood lighting can do wonders to your loneliness. Solitude is not that bad after all; you do your absolute best thinking during such a time, and if the water's not scalding enough, it doesn’t feel quite right! So, next time you have one of those days, draw yourself a bath you’ve never drawn before. The Epsom salts and rose petals and scented air do more for your mental health than most therapists would. Additionally, it’s a cheap way of romanticizing your life. Our favorite candles start from RMB 7.99 at IKEA!

6. Live the Foreigner Life

If you truly want to romanticize solitude and truly enjoy your solo Beijing life, you need to know that you will always be a foreigner in Beijing, and you need to embrace the foreigner life. Take pictures in every single corner of the city because you might never get a chance to come back. Try the weirdest dish on the menu, make friends with someone who can speak two words of English, get a cab to the farthest part of the city, or visit some crazy art exhibition at the end of Line 6. It gets easier. Smile at strangers; try to interact with them as much as you can, even if it's a few words of your broken Chinese. You're always going to look different, and it's about time that you start to enjoy that process rather than making it a hindrance in your Beijing life. You have nothing holding you back; you’re here all alone, and that's the best part!

7. Undo Preset Paradigms

It is true that we suffer more in our imagination than in real life. We create so many preconceived notions about ourselves, about things we can do and cannot do, that they start to limit our happiness. Do you understand how rare it is that you're here in a foreign city all alone on your own? Do you understand how much of an opportunity this is and how much people would give to have this in their lives? It's easy to take for granted things that come to us, and living in Beijing as an expat is one of those. Oftentimes, we forget how wonderful it is to experience a completely different culture, learn to speak a completely different language, try a completely different cuisine and live a completely different life. You get to choose a new personality; you can be anything you want. Why would you choose your same old self? Unleash a new character and unlock some new capabilities that will surprise you. Don't give into things people told you about yourself ten years ago; you're a whole different person, and this is a whole different city – maybe even a whole different continent! 

So, here’s to you, my fellow lonely Beijinger. Here's to us finding a wonderful life in the future but making the best of it in the now! You’ve got this! I have faith in you! 

READ: Events and Happenings in the 'Jing This Weekend (Mar 7-9)

Images: Canva