Bride Considering Kicking Sister-in-Law Out of Wedding Party for Skipping Bridesmaid Duties: ‘It’s a Slap in the Face’

The bride's future sister-in-law has been "uncommunicative," unwilling to help with planning and is missing the bridal shower for another bachelorette trip

• A bride wants to drop her soon-to-be sister-in-law from her wedding party
• The bride is at her "wit's end" because her sister-in-law hasn't been involved with planning "in any capacity," is "uncommunicative" and is going to skip her bridal shower for someone else's bachelorette trip
• Reddit users looked at the situation from a more empathetic perspective, pointing out that the sister-in-law is a mother to two children less than 2 years old, which may limit her planning ability. They advised the bride to keep her as a bridesmaid to avoid family drama

A bride is contemplating kicking her sister-in-law out of her wedding party.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, a bride, 28, getting married in spring 2025 asked Redditors whether or not she'd be in the wrong for demoting her soon-to-be sister-in-law, 32, from her bridesmaid position. She explained that her sister-in-law originally asked to be a bridesmaid, but has skipped out on nearly every bridal activity.

"Since the wedding festivities have begun, she has seemed extremely uninterested in being involved in any capacity," the bride wrote. "She joined in the bachelorette trip, but didn’t help in planning, setting or cleaning up."

Making things more stressful, it took "numerous" follow-ups from the matron and maid of honor to get the sister-in-law to order her bridesmaid dress, which she didn't do until 10 weeks after everyone else. 

Being "uncommunicative with all of the bridesmaids" seems to be a common trend for the sister-in-law, as she "won’t respond to texts for days/weeks."

"When she does finally respond, there is an excuse of why she can’t do something or couldn’t respond," the bride continued.

While the sister-in-law was on the bachelorette trip, she was a no-show at the "virtual and brief" bridal planning meeting. 

"Nor has she asked any of my bridesmaids what she can do to help," the Redditor added.

Related: Bride Lists Strict ‘Rules' for Her Bridal Party: ‘It’s NOT Your Day’

For the bride, the final straw was her sister-in-law informing the groom and the entire bridal party that she "isn’t attending the bridal shower because she’s going to another bachelorette trip." This frustrated the bride not only because her sister-in-law told everyone else but her, but also because "everyone has known the bridal shower date for months."

"Seeing as this is my future sister-in-law, it’s a slap in the face," the bride wrote.

What additionally perplexes the bride is that her sister-in-law's husband "has gone above and beyond" with helping and planning as a groomsman. Even their two daughters, both under the age of 2, are playing a part in the wedding by being flower girls.

"I just feel like her presence/attitude thus far has really put a damper and strain on our wedding, which is supposed to be a happy experience," the bride said. "I also don’t want to ruin our relationship, but I’m at my wit's end."

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Redditors said that the bride was "not the a------" for wanting to drop her sister-in-law from her wedding party. However, they advised her to "lower her expectations" and keep her sister-in-law as a bridesmaid in order to avoid family conflict.

"She’s a future in-law — starting drama with the soon to be in-laws by kicking her out is not a good way to start a marriage," one person commented in part.

Another user agreed, writing: "I think since her husband and daughters are involved it's better to keep her as a bridesmaid. Family members will probably get in a fluster, she'll get offended (even though she's not being supportive or helpful) and on the day there'll be more drama than if she stayed in the bridal party."

They also looked at the situation with a more empathetic lens, noting that the sister-in-law is a mother of two young children, and might have too much on her plate to be involved with bridal planning.