Venita Aspen Explains How Her Friendship with Since-Departed Castmate JT Thomas Bloomed: ‘Quite the Journey’ (Exclusive)

In the Jan. 30 episode of 'Southern Charm', the fashion influencer and the real estate pro confessed their feelings to one another — but he had a girlfriend

Venita Aspen and Jarrett “JT” Thomas acknowledged their feelings for one another in the latest episode of Southern Charm, but it turned out he had a girlfriend.

“I always thought that he was very friendly and sweet with me, but then I was just like, ‘Oh, whatever.’ I felt like he was doing that because he had to,” Venita, 31, tells PEOPLE. “And then I learned that he was doing that because he actually wanted to, which was nice and refreshing, especially coming from this group.”

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Venita says her connection with JT started in New York City, but she pumped the brakes because she’d been dating Manny Houston at the time.

“JT and I, when we first did Watch What Happens Live, I think that's when I could actually see that the friendship that we had was blossoming,” she explains. “We got close over the summer, and it's been quite the journey getting to know the real JT. It's been nice and refreshing.”

Leva Bonaparte told Venita in the Jan. 30 episode that she noticed the “chemistry” between her and JT and she assured the fashion influencer, “He’s a marriage guy.”

“Yeah, I have a crush on Mr. JT,” Venita confessed. “He’s just like, funny and charming. He works out every day, you know, he has a great relationship with his mom. I’m like, oh, okay, he’s kind of like me, but a boy. I like that.”

Venita informed Leva, 45, that she planned to invite JT over for dinner to “talk it out.”

“When I’m interested in a guy, I’m not going to wait for him to make the call,” Venita said. “I’m going to be the first one to say, ‘Hey, how you doing? So today at 12:30 I expect you to pick me up.’”

When JT came over for dinner, Venita made branzino and vegetables. “I feel very spoiled right now. This is very nice,” JT said to Venita as they ate on the couch.

JT called the meal “sweet and spicy, kind of like us.” Then he acknowledged the elephant in the room. “You know that there’s something, right?” JT said to Venita. “Like, you know that there’s chemistry here. I do.”

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Venita nodded and said, “I had a feeling it was there, but I didn’t think that you would actually like, say it.”

But then JT explained why it wouldn’t work. “Do I know we have chemistry? Am I extremely attracted to you? Yes and yes,” JT said. “But it’s just, I’m just being real, like, I’m seeing someone, so…”

JT revealed in a confessional interview that he’d “been just getting out of the gates” in a new relationship with a girl named Ally. “I’ve got to give myself a little bit of credit because I don’t cheat, and that’s a slippery slope,” he said.

This came as a bit of a surprise to Venita. “I won’t say that I knew he had a girlfriend,” she told the cameras. “I could say that I knew he was talking to someone, but it wasn't like a ‘this is who I’m dating.’”

Then she told JT, “Don’t act like you don’t want this just as bad as I do.”

He did, but he wanted to “play this out” with Venita. “Say that it’s an alternative universe that it was me and you, but you knew that I had the propensity to see new opportunities and be flippant,” JT said. “You wouldn’t want to be with somebody like that. Then you would always wonder in the back of your mind, is he going to do the same thing to me?”

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Venita recognized that JT had a point. “I’m not a home-wrecker and I don’t want to be,” she said to him.

But to the cameras, she admitted, “I’m equally parts angry and equally parts sad because like, how long have we been flirting? And you’ve had a girlfriend this whole time?”

Weeks ahead of Southern Charm’s season 10 premiere, JT announced his departure from the show. “I wish him well, if this is what it's going to be,” Venita tells PEOPLE. “I think JT gets in his own way a lot of the time, and this is a prime example of that.”

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Southern Charm airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.