Stop Sending Me Partiful Invitations

I love a party. My favorite social setting is the humble house party, and few things in this world put the battery in my back quite like receiving an invitation to one. But lately, I’ve begun to notice that there is no longer any true consensus on the best way to send out a batch invite.

I’m not talking about a gathering on the level of a wedding or baby shower, which generally still requires a printed card with custom calligraphy or whatever. It’s when you need to inform your friends and loved ones of a straightforward get-together—a birthday party at a bar, a housewarming shindig at your new place—where we run into trouble. Facebook Events was found dead in a ditch years ago, opening the door for a handful of competing replacements. Some people prefer to start an email chain, others veer toward a group chat.

Here’s what I do know: Partiful, the new kid on the invitation block, needs to go. Over the past couple of years, the yassified Evite has had a stranglehold on the invite game—and I’m selecting “Will Not Attend” for its coronation. I know I’m not alone either. To quote the legend Tracy E. Gilchrist, I’ve seen it on a couple of posts:

Partiful’s aesthetic makes me full-body cringe. It feels like a way of corporatizing the concept of hanging out. (The recent surprise drop of “After Party”—Partiful’s version of Spotify Wrapped—is a beautiful reminder that not everything needs to be a data point, especially your social life.) I have never used it to organize a party or gathering I am throwing, but that hasn’t stopped it from taking over as the go-to system for my fellow younger millennials and older members of Gen Z. Whenever I get a Partiful invite, I can happily acknowledge how easily it synthesizes the important bits—the host punches in the address, timing, guest list, and other essential info into the app, which then sends it all out to everybody in one fell swoop—but the interface and overall vibe is not for me. I do not want to drop a GIF to express my feelings about receiving this invitation, and I certainly do not want to share my social handles with a bunch of randos so they can tag me in poorly lit photos—both things that Partiful asks you to do after RSVPing. (I will say that I rarely see people use those features, which tells me I’ve self-selected a solid social circle.)

My preferred method of event organization—as inefficient as it may be—is to make a list of everyone I’d like to invite, and then individually text them about the party. Sometimes I’ll even create a silly DIY poster to give the party a true big-event feel, which is my favorite way to receive an invitation. Does it take a while and lead to a maelstrom of texts to separately respond to? It really does. Does it lead to answering the same questions a whole bunch of times rather than once in a central digital location? You bet. But nevertheless, it remains my preference, and a really amusing creative outlet that makes the whole thing feel much more personal. Doing it this way also grants people the freedom to respond without the watchful eye of a group. If you want to get some laughs, make people feel special, and convey the message that this is a party, not a Zoom meeting, create a shitty little flier on your computer and send that to your friends, one by one. It will take longer than some of the options presented above, but it also forces you to really think about who you’re inviting, whereas Partiful has a tendency to create a more-the-merrier environment that sometimes spawns a way-too-crowded function.

My other gripe with Partiful—besides the fact that it always wants you to download its app; don’t ever put me in a situation where I have to download a new app—is that it gatekeeps the crucial info until you RSVP. What if you’re having your birthday at a bar that sucks? Even worse, what if you invited a person who sucks? I would like to know that before giving a firm yes or no, and something about pressing the maybe button feels like a cop-out. Granted, the RSVP element does make it easy for both the host and guests to see who’s coming—but if it’s a situation where you don’t totally know the crowd, it all just becomes an anonymous mishmash anyway.

The one major benefit of Partiful that many people (read: my coworkers) voiced to me when I pitched this idea is the reminder texts that it sends you in the lead up to an event. To which I say: Put all of your invites into your calendar and simply consult that. You know, like an adult. My method may not be the easiest method, but I would argue it is the most fun method. At the very least, we can all agree that the most deranged approach of all is to post a Close Friends Instagram Story that just says, “If you’re seeing this, you’re invited to my party.” Grow up.