Ranking arachnophobia modes as someone who's been terrified of spiders for nearly 30 years

I have been alive for *shudder* almost three decades now, and for pretty much all of that time I've been scared stiff by spiders. Please, keep your armchair therapising to yourself. Yes, I know the majority of spiders can't hurt me. They're just bros, chilling, with their way-too-many legs and eyes and… urgh. Anyway, I'm not a fan.

I am a fan, however, of videogames. And you know what videogames love to do? They love to shove freakin' spiders into everything! Thankfully, most developers are kind enough to implement some sort of arachnophobia mode in order to shield my eyes and feeble, fearful brain from such atrocities.

That being said, not all arachnophobia modes are made equal. Some are genuinely fantastic, lessening the scaries without detracting from the immersion too much or leaning into the surrealism of it. Others are, to be frank, a bit naff. Fear not, for I'm here with my very professional opinion* on which ones are worth toggling on, and ones that may as well leave you diving into some exposure therapy instead.

*Depends on who you ask.

Grounded: 7.8/10

Starting off strong here, my arachnophobes-in-arms. There's a few reasons I really dig Obsidian's attempt at soothing my eight-legged fears: First of all, it's on a scale, something which very few arachnophobia modes offer. In fact, I don't think a slidable scale is anywhere else on this list.

Only a little scared? Cut off a leg or two and voila. Totally paralysed by the sight of one? Turn them into shiny round orbs of death. Admittedly, the shiny death orbs are somehow just as terrifying as their fully realised furry selves. Plus, changing their appearance doesn't actually do anything to the terrifying hissing sounds they make when they're trying to kill you.

Overall it's a solid attempt though, and a much-appreciated one in a world where literally everything is bigger and more frightening than you.

Pro: Adjustable spider scale. | Con: They still sound terrifying.

WoW: The War Within: 9.5/10

Now I don't actually play World of Warcraft—my MMO brainrot lies solely with Final Fantasy 14—but I had to include Blizzard's incredible solution to the spider scares: Crabs. It's crabs, baby.

Both are arthropods, sure. But as associate design director Maria Hamilton discovered, "Fundamentally, the best choice was crabs, it turns out. No-one was scared of crabs." The team had gone down the route of trying things like your bog-standard spider leg removal, but ultimately found that "people don't seem to have the same visceral reaction to the shape of a crab's legs that they do with spiders."

Y'know what, they're right. I find The War Within's crustaceans surprisingly endearing. The team even went as far as to look at all of the spiders within the game to carefully find the more appropriate crab replacement. Maximum effort for minimal scares on my part. If I was a regular WoW gamer, I know this is one I'd appreciate for sure.

Pro: Nobody is scared of crabs. | Con: Someone might also be scared of crab

Hogwarts Legacy: 6.3/10

Another arachnophobia mode that thinks chopping the legs off will solve all problems. Hogwarts Legacy didn't even have an arachnophobia toggle when the game first launched, which automatically gets it docked a point or two. It was only after a mod started to ramp up in popularity that Avalanche Software decided to implement one itself.

Hogwarts Legacy turns its spiders into two blobs with an ominous maroon hue and two glaring red eyes that look like they've been robbed off a couple traffic lights. Why couldn't Avalanche have gone for, I don't know, a nice baby pink instead? It's still largely menacing in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

The one saving grace here is that the spider has been put on rollerblades. Why? For the whimsy, perhaps. It's cute and quirky, sure, but it still doesn't excuse everything going on above the skates. How does a spider even get a hold of rollerblades, anyway?

Pro: Rollerblades | Con: